


I know it's unfair...

by TerresDeBrume



Series: Rumor Has It (We're all selfish morons) [18]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Epistolary, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-05
Updated: 2013-01-05
Packaged: 2017-11-23 19:11:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/625601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerresDeBrume/pseuds/TerresDeBrume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But if it escaped you, <i>life</i> is unfair.</p><p>In which Bruce replies to <i>Mama, I just lost a man</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I know it's unfair...

**June 15th, 2014.**

My dear Loki,

 

I have only just received your letter, and I settled to answer you right away.

 

I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this. I wish I could tell you that there is a reason for it or, failing that, that there is a god somewhere that will make it all seem alright when the time comes, but then I would not be sincere.

I have no idea why these kind of things happen. I don’t know why there are men like Thrÿm or Brian to make children’s lives such a nightmare. I don’t know why we had to watch our mothers die at their hands and I don’t know… oh, Loki. You know me. I am a scientist: the only thing I truly know is that I know nothing.

 

I am sure of one thing, though, and it is that you and I did nothing to deserve this. There is nothing, no word we said, no moment we lived that would justify what we went through, nothing that could have made it okay for us to live through these kinds of childhoods. It took me a long time to realize and accept this, but Loki, it was not my fault, no more than it was yours. It never was.

And you and I… as horrible as those memories are, we are among the lucky ones. Sometimes I have nightmares about what my life would have been had I not met Eric, had you not convinced Farbauti to sponsor my studies as well as yours… I wouldn’t be where I am now, that’s for sure, and honestly I don’t know if I would still be alive at all.

But I pulled through this. And so will you.

 

We made it this far, Loki.

Our childhoods, our fathers, our lives at the foyer, our mistakes… we had every chances of becoming like them, every chances of ending up the monsters that they were and only one in a million to be functionning, stable members of society, and that is the one we seized! I know it’s hard to go through, and I know it’s hard to believe. I know how much of a failure you feel in regards to Tony, and while I agree it is a missed opportunity, I will not let you think you truly are the failure Thrÿm thought you were.

You are a great father, a loving husband, and the strongest person I have ever met. You think you’re weak, but you’re not. You wouldn’t be alive if you were. You wouldn’t have survived the foyer if you were. Every day that you don’t go back to taking drugs is a victory on Thrÿm and what he did to you, just as every day that I get angry and don’t hit Betty is a victory on Brian and what he did to me.

This is how I know you’re going to pull through this: because you have already won that battle, and you are not going to stop fighting now. Just because you need a break does not make you weak. I think, on the contrary, that it shows you’re strong enough to look your problems in the face and acknowledge when they may become too much.

 

I’ve been needing a pause for a while, too.

The earthquake here has put everyone on edge, and I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in weeks, maybe months –I can’t remember. I’ve talked about it with Betty, and she’s okay with me going out of India for a few days, which I am extremely thankful for, as I suspect it’s not easy for her to accept that I need to get away from her to deal with my problems.

I think maybe getting out of your own situation could help you, too. Why don’t you talk to Thor about it? We could do that trip to Peru we kept talking about before? I’m sure the fresh air will help us all, and it will give you and Thor time to sort what you want to do without having to worry about immediate response to the other.

It’s just a suggestion, of course, but perhaps it could help.

 

In the meantime, if you need distraction, I’ve enclosed our pictures from the Holî, which I finally had developped… like I said, the earthquake didn’t leave us with much time for leisures. Anyway, Gunavati –remember, my pediatrician colleague?- said Betty and I made remarkably few mistakes, which I take as a source of pride… she also thinks the amount of green I got shoved in my face is kind of fitting, given how badly I need the harmony, and I tend to agree with her. Anyway, I’ve already told you what a great day it was, I don’t need to go on about for too long, but I really enjoyed it and I hope she’s going to invite us again next year –though this time I’ll go prepared and know my shirt is not going to survive it. Did I tell you I found green behind my ear three days after the celebration? I loved it.

While I’m at it, Gunavati says she needs more material for a project of her about the various ways Christmas is celebrated in the world. Betty and I helped with the American celebrations, but she’s looking for as many countries as she can, do you think you could try and do something about Iceland? She’s not asking for much, really, just a few notes or such if you’re willing? Kids in the pediatric ward would really appreciate that.

 

Stay strong Loki, I know it’s hard, and I wish I could be with you in more than just words, but you know you always have my full support.

Don’t hesitate to phone me if you want me to go through the pictures with you.

 

Always with affection,

 

Bruce.


End file.
